Today is Thanksgiving.
Today is also the 37th anniversary of the day my older brother was killed when he darted out into the street and was struck by a car. He was 2 years, 3 months, and 13 days old. I was 5 months old. My mother was 21, my dad was 24. My parents had made the bold decision to move to southern Mississippi to work on the clean up and reconstruction after Hurricane Camille. They were hundreds of miles from home. My mom says she looked away for a second. A second. That's all it took to almost completely destroy my family.
Growing up, I was always aware of this cloud that hung over my family around the holidays. I never really understood it, but it had always been there. My parents started fighting more around this time of year. My dad stayed gone more, coming home later and later. My mom hated decorating for Christmas. If you asked Mom what she wanted for Christmas, she always said, "A knock-out pill that lasts until New Year's Day." My dad has always refered to Christmas as "just another damn day". They now spend winter in the Keys. They do not celebrate the holidays.
I didn't fully understand any of this until I had my daughter. Now, when this day comes around, it is not only the loss of my brother's life I mourn; it is the loss of my parents' faith and hope, the loss of their youth.
So on this day of thanksgiving, I am so thankful for my parents. I love you Mom & Dad. I respect you for being survivors. I hope that I have just a fraction of your strength, and I pray that I will never need it. I am also thankful for the health and well-being of my husband and child. I pray that I will feel this grateful and blessed next year, and every year.
Today is also the 37th anniversary of the day my older brother was killed when he darted out into the street and was struck by a car. He was 2 years, 3 months, and 13 days old. I was 5 months old. My mother was 21, my dad was 24. My parents had made the bold decision to move to southern Mississippi to work on the clean up and reconstruction after Hurricane Camille. They were hundreds of miles from home. My mom says she looked away for a second. A second. That's all it took to almost completely destroy my family.
Growing up, I was always aware of this cloud that hung over my family around the holidays. I never really understood it, but it had always been there. My parents started fighting more around this time of year. My dad stayed gone more, coming home later and later. My mom hated decorating for Christmas. If you asked Mom what she wanted for Christmas, she always said, "A knock-out pill that lasts until New Year's Day." My dad has always refered to Christmas as "just another damn day". They now spend winter in the Keys. They do not celebrate the holidays.
I didn't fully understand any of this until I had my daughter. Now, when this day comes around, it is not only the loss of my brother's life I mourn; it is the loss of my parents' faith and hope, the loss of their youth.
So on this day of thanksgiving, I am so thankful for my parents. I love you Mom & Dad. I respect you for being survivors. I hope that I have just a fraction of your strength, and I pray that I will never need it. I am also thankful for the health and well-being of my husband and child. I pray that I will feel this grateful and blessed next year, and every year.
No comments:
Post a Comment