Happy New Year! We rang in the new year very quietly this year. Actually, this is not much different than the last couple years, other than we usually have a few drinks. I called my mom and dad on New Year's Eve and told them the news. My mom was happy, my dad's comment was, "That's just what you need. You should've gotten another dog." Thanks for the positive vibes, there, Pops. I've known my dad long enough to know not to take this too personally. He's just a grumpy old fart. Inside, I know he's tickled. We've decided not to tell dh's family or dd just yet. We want to make sure the little bean sticks before we get everyone all excited. (The reason I told my Mom is because she knew we were trying, and, welll....dammit, she's my mommy!)

I can't help but compare my excitement level to the first time. I swear, last time around I was on the phone with everyone I could think of about 5 minutes after the positive test. I even told my boss the very next day (GASP!), which in hindsight was a bit quick. I was just sooo excited! I wanted everyone in the world to know. You would've thought I'd cornered the market on this pregnancy thang. I couldn't wait to start showing so everyone would know.

This time, I have been strangely calm. I saw the plus sign and said, hmmm...I'm pregnant. No wild heart flutters, no freaking out, no hopping on the phone (although I did email my friend a picture of the positive test, heehee). I am quite content with as few people as necessary knowing my little secret. I am not really looking forward to showing. I'm really not looking forward to everyone at work finding out. (I've only been there one year.)

Maybe it hasn't hit me yet. Or just maybe, I really am this calm about it. Stay tuned.


10DPO. So much for having a beer to ring in the new year, huh?


9DPO. Here's my chart. At this point in my last cycle, AF was about to show. I fully expected to see my temp drop today, but instead a slight rise. (That could be from the two glasses of wine I had last night.) Boobs still tender. Not so crampy as last time, though. That's a plus.
I HATE not knowing. I am fairly certain that I'm not, but I would like to know for sure. I am trying to have self-control with the hpt's. My original plan was to test on New Year's Day if af hadn't showed up by then. I blew that already. I MUST make myself wait. I MUST. I MUST. I am so weak! It's a good thing I have no more hpt's in the house at the moment.


Boobs were hurting pretty bad most of yesterday. Not so much today...I expect I'll see a temp drop here in the next couple of days and the arrival of AF. I broke down and took a test this morning. NEGATIVE, of course. Why do I do this? I accomplish nothing other than making myself feel stupid and disappointed. It would be a lot less painful to beat myself about the head and shoulders with spiked whip.


7DPO (according to FertilityFriend.com)
Christmas has come and gone and all was well. I cooked all weekend, packed it up, took it to my SIL's house, unpacked it and served it. WHEW. Glad it's over! My SIL and I have a pretty good arrangement. She has a nice, big house with a pool table, bar and bigscreen tv. I love to cook. So she hosts and I bring most of the food. It works out great! I cook, she cleans, lol!

I had to go back to work yesterday, and I was exhausted. I felt way out of sorts yesterday. I was Bitch Supreme! But much better attitude today. The best thing about having been super-busy for the last week is that I've had no time to think about whether I'm pg or not. I know one thing, my boobs have been on fire. But, of course, same was true last month. If I had to wager, I'd say AF will be showing up to celebrate the New Year. I'm not as sad about that.

DH's best friend and his wife and baby girl came over last night. This is the couple that are newly-pg. She said she feels great. Their first pregnancy (before their DD) ended at about 4 months due to chromosomal abnormalities. It was a boy. They were devastated and waited two more years to try again. They had an emergency C-section with DD. I pray this pregnancy is VERY UNEVENTFUL!!


According to fertilityfriend.com, I am 3DPO today. Finally got the crosshairs. My temp has been up for three days now. If my O day is right by my chart, we bd'd all but the day before O. Hope that wasn't the magic day, cause we sure missed it! DH had to work late that night and I just couldn't stay awake.

Because this is my first month charting and I don't know how long my "luteal" phase is, FF recommends testing at 18DPO...AS IF. But I think I can hold out at least until New Years Day, which will be DPO 12. Okay, maybe I should wait a little longer than that, but I will allow myself to give in to the POAS Demon at that point. As for now, I'm feeling ambivilant about the whole thing. Part of this is because I've got alot to get done before Christmas and I really don't have the time to dwell on it. Part of this is because of how disappointed I was last cycle. I will not do that to myself again.


Well, my temp spiked this morning, so evidently I o'd either yesterday or Tuesday. Now we get to enter the fabulously fun two-week wait.

DH expressed concern about how I reacted to not being pg last cycle. He even said that he wonders if we're doing the right thing. (Okay, NOW is not the time to say that to me.) I explained to him that the reason I was so upset is because I was so sure that I was pregnant, when in reality I was just experiencing lots of pms symptoms that I don't normally have. What I failed to consider is that I've been on the pill for seven years and have pretty much had NO pms up until this point. This time around, I am a little wiser and will not jump the gun.

We have decided to give it six months. This is month 2. ARE we doing the right thing? This is so awful, and I feel really guilty even writing this, but a little tiny part of me hopes that we can't get pregnant in six months. Why? I think it's because I would then have a "valid" reason for not having another baby, rather than the rather selfish-sounding, "Because I don't want to."

If we don't get pregnant, I do seriously want to look into foster-adoption.