10DPO. So much for having a beer to ring in the new year, huh?
12/30/2006
12/29/2006
9DPO. Here's my chart. At this point in my last cycle, AF was about to show. I fully expected to see my temp drop today, but instead a slight rise. (That could be from the two glasses of wine I had last night.) Boobs still tender. Not so crampy as last time, though. That's a plus.
I HATE not knowing. I am fairly certain that I'm not, but I would like to know for sure. I am trying to have self-control with the hpt's. My original plan was to test on New Year's Day if af hadn't showed up by then. I blew that already. I MUST make myself wait. I MUST. I MUST. I am so weak! It's a good thing I have no more hpt's in the house at the moment.
12/28/2006
8DPO
Boobs were hurting pretty bad most of yesterday. Not so much today...I expect I'll see a temp drop here in the next couple of days and the arrival of AF. I broke down and took a test this morning. NEGATIVE, of course. Why do I do this? I accomplish nothing other than making myself feel stupid and disappointed. It would be a lot less painful to beat myself about the head and shoulders with spiked whip.
Boobs were hurting pretty bad most of yesterday. Not so much today...I expect I'll see a temp drop here in the next couple of days and the arrival of AF. I broke down and took a test this morning. NEGATIVE, of course. Why do I do this? I accomplish nothing other than making myself feel stupid and disappointed. It would be a lot less painful to beat myself about the head and shoulders with spiked whip.
12/27/2006
7DPO (according to FertilityFriend.com)
Christmas has come and gone and all was well. I cooked all weekend, packed it up, took it to my SIL's house, unpacked it and served it. WHEW. Glad it's over! My SIL and I have a pretty good arrangement. She has a nice, big house with a pool table, bar and bigscreen tv. I love to cook. So she hosts and I bring most of the food. It works out great! I cook, she cleans, lol!
I had to go back to work yesterday, and I was exhausted. I felt way out of sorts yesterday. I was Bitch Supreme! But much better attitude today. The best thing about having been super-busy for the last week is that I've had no time to think about whether I'm pg or not. I know one thing, my boobs have been on fire. But, of course, same was true last month. If I had to wager, I'd say AF will be showing up to celebrate the New Year. I'm not as sad about that.
DH's best friend and his wife and baby girl came over last night. This is the couple that are newly-pg. She said she feels great. Their first pregnancy (before their DD) ended at about 4 months due to chromosomal abnormalities. It was a boy. They were devastated and waited two more years to try again. They had an emergency C-section with DD. I pray this pregnancy is VERY UNEVENTFUL!!
Christmas has come and gone and all was well. I cooked all weekend, packed it up, took it to my SIL's house, unpacked it and served it. WHEW. Glad it's over! My SIL and I have a pretty good arrangement. She has a nice, big house with a pool table, bar and bigscreen tv. I love to cook. So she hosts and I bring most of the food. It works out great! I cook, she cleans, lol!
I had to go back to work yesterday, and I was exhausted. I felt way out of sorts yesterday. I was Bitch Supreme! But much better attitude today. The best thing about having been super-busy for the last week is that I've had no time to think about whether I'm pg or not. I know one thing, my boobs have been on fire. But, of course, same was true last month. If I had to wager, I'd say AF will be showing up to celebrate the New Year. I'm not as sad about that.
DH's best friend and his wife and baby girl came over last night. This is the couple that are newly-pg. She said she feels great. Their first pregnancy (before their DD) ended at about 4 months due to chromosomal abnormalities. It was a boy. They were devastated and waited two more years to try again. They had an emergency C-section with DD. I pray this pregnancy is VERY UNEVENTFUL!!
12/23/2006
According to fertilityfriend.com, I am 3DPO today. Finally got the crosshairs. My temp has been up for three days now. If my O day is right by my chart, we bd'd all but the day before O. Hope that wasn't the magic day, cause we sure missed it! DH had to work late that night and I just couldn't stay awake.
Because this is my first month charting and I don't know how long my "luteal" phase is, FF recommends testing at 18DPO...AS IF. But I think I can hold out at least until New Years Day, which will be DPO 12. Okay, maybe I should wait a little longer than that, but I will allow myself to give in to the POAS Demon at that point. As for now, I'm feeling ambivilant about the whole thing. Part of this is because I've got alot to get done before Christmas and I really don't have the time to dwell on it. Part of this is because of how disappointed I was last cycle. I will not do that to myself again.
Because this is my first month charting and I don't know how long my "luteal" phase is, FF recommends testing at 18DPO...AS IF. But I think I can hold out at least until New Years Day, which will be DPO 12. Okay, maybe I should wait a little longer than that, but I will allow myself to give in to the POAS Demon at that point. As for now, I'm feeling ambivilant about the whole thing. Part of this is because I've got alot to get done before Christmas and I really don't have the time to dwell on it. Part of this is because of how disappointed I was last cycle. I will not do that to myself again.
12/21/2006
Well, my temp spiked this morning, so evidently I o'd either yesterday or Tuesday. Now we get to enter the fabulously fun two-week wait.
DH expressed concern about how I reacted to not being pg last cycle. He even said that he wonders if we're doing the right thing. (Okay, NOW is not the time to say that to me.) I explained to him that the reason I was so upset is because I was so sure that I was pregnant, when in reality I was just experiencing lots of pms symptoms that I don't normally have. What I failed to consider is that I've been on the pill for seven years and have pretty much had NO pms up until this point. This time around, I am a little wiser and will not jump the gun.
We have decided to give it six months. This is month 2. ARE we doing the right thing? This is so awful, and I feel really guilty even writing this, but a little tiny part of me hopes that we can't get pregnant in six months. Why? I think it's because I would then have a "valid" reason for not having another baby, rather than the rather selfish-sounding, "Because I don't want to."
If we don't get pregnant, I do seriously want to look into foster-adoption.
DH expressed concern about how I reacted to not being pg last cycle. He even said that he wonders if we're doing the right thing. (Okay, NOW is not the time to say that to me.) I explained to him that the reason I was so upset is because I was so sure that I was pregnant, when in reality I was just experiencing lots of pms symptoms that I don't normally have. What I failed to consider is that I've been on the pill for seven years and have pretty much had NO pms up until this point. This time around, I am a little wiser and will not jump the gun.
We have decided to give it six months. This is month 2. ARE we doing the right thing? This is so awful, and I feel really guilty even writing this, but a little tiny part of me hopes that we can't get pregnant in six months. Why? I think it's because I would then have a "valid" reason for not having another baby, rather than the rather selfish-sounding, "Because I don't want to."
If we don't get pregnant, I do seriously want to look into foster-adoption.
12/20/2006
12/17/2006
12/13/2006
CD10. Well, I received in the mail yesterday my order of OPK's from www.saveontests.com. I took the first one last night, which I did totally wrong. (Read the instructions, dipshit.) Today I tested while at work. I snuck into the bathroom and peed in a styrofoam cup, then made a beeline for my office before anyone saw me. I felt so goofy walking down the hall with a cup o' pee! Anyhoo, got a faint line. Hope this means I'm gearing up to O.
12/11/2006
CD 8. DH and I watched this show on TLC last night called "16 Children and Moving In" about this HUGE family building a house big enough for all of them. The parents had 15 kids with one on the way! Holy Crap!!! That woman wasn't running a family, she was running an army! She was a couple years older than me.
Not much on the ttc front. I bought one of those BBT thermometers and have started checking my temp each morning. Today was the third day. When I was trying to get pregnant with dd, I had started temping, but because my work schedule was always out of wack, I never really got a consistent reading. Plus, I ended up pregnant the same month I started temping so I was doing it for nothing anyway. Maybe that's what'll happen this time! Oh, and dh is no longer taking baths because I mentioned to him that hot baths kill the swimmers. He said he's trying to do his part.
Not much on the ttc front. I bought one of those BBT thermometers and have started checking my temp each morning. Today was the third day. When I was trying to get pregnant with dd, I had started temping, but because my work schedule was always out of wack, I never really got a consistent reading. Plus, I ended up pregnant the same month I started temping so I was doing it for nothing anyway. Maybe that's what'll happen this time! Oh, and dh is no longer taking baths because I mentioned to him that hot baths kill the swimmers. He said he's trying to do his part.
12/07/2006
I have been avoiding my blog because I just feel so foolish.
Guess who showed up late Monday night? You guessed it, that red-headed bitch named Aunt Flow. Heiffer. I hate her. I was DEVESTATED. I started bawling right there on the toilet. Then I proceded to get rip-roaring drunk. I didn't go to work on Tuesday. I couldn't stop crying.
I was just soooo sure!!! The changes in my body were unlike anything I'd ever experienced before a period. I mean, I got these little bumps on my nips, for crissake! EVERYTHING was swollen! The cramps were horrendous! And all this went on for a full seven days! Very unlike any PMS ever. My system was just overrun with progesterone, I reckon.
I had it all planned out in my mind how to tell the family. My dd had even put "little sister or brother" on her Christmas list! I was going to buy her one of those "Big Sister" t-shirts and wrap it up for Christmas morning. Then, when she wore it to our family's house for Christmas dinner, everyone would see it.
I think this is why I am so devestated. It was soooo perfect.
I can't go through this again.
Guess who showed up late Monday night? You guessed it, that red-headed bitch named Aunt Flow. Heiffer. I hate her. I was DEVESTATED. I started bawling right there on the toilet. Then I proceded to get rip-roaring drunk. I didn't go to work on Tuesday. I couldn't stop crying.
I was just soooo sure!!! The changes in my body were unlike anything I'd ever experienced before a period. I mean, I got these little bumps on my nips, for crissake! EVERYTHING was swollen! The cramps were horrendous! And all this went on for a full seven days! Very unlike any PMS ever. My system was just overrun with progesterone, I reckon.
I had it all planned out in my mind how to tell the family. My dd had even put "little sister or brother" on her Christmas list! I was going to buy her one of those "Big Sister" t-shirts and wrap it up for Christmas morning. Then, when she wore it to our family's house for Christmas dinner, everyone would see it.
I think this is why I am so devestated. It was soooo perfect.
I can't go through this again.
12/03/2006
I am pretty sure I'm pregnant. Let me rephrase that: If af shows up, I will be utterly amazed.
When I woke up this morning my first thought was, I feel pregnant. I've gotten three negative tests now(11/29, 12/1 and 12/2) but I'm only at cd24 and my hormone level may not be high enough to be detected yet. However, my boobs are rounder, the nips are getting these little raised bumps, and the areolas are spreading out in crazy directions. The cramps have died down to just a constant tugging feeling, no longer uncomfortable but I know it's there. My, ahem, nether regions are getting pretty sensitive too. I had forgotten about this really nice perk of pregnancy. DH is really excited!
So how do I feel? Pretty calm, since I don't know for sure. How will I feel when I get that big plus sign? Who knows.
And by the way, my guess on dh's Christmas gift? I was right. He of course caved and showed me pix of the two kayaks he bought, one single and one double. The woman that runs the outfitters where he purchased them told dh not to worry too much about me being pregnant and kayaking. She said she went kayaking all the way thru all of her pregnancies. She's pretty granola though. She's probably one of those supermoms who kayaked over to the bank, gave birth underwater, then tied the kid on her in a sling and paddled along on her merry way. She told us a story one time about caving with her three-month-old daughter! Geez!
When I woke up this morning my first thought was, I feel pregnant. I've gotten three negative tests now(11/29, 12/1 and 12/2) but I'm only at cd24 and my hormone level may not be high enough to be detected yet. However, my boobs are rounder, the nips are getting these little raised bumps, and the areolas are spreading out in crazy directions. The cramps have died down to just a constant tugging feeling, no longer uncomfortable but I know it's there. My, ahem, nether regions are getting pretty sensitive too. I had forgotten about this really nice perk of pregnancy. DH is really excited!
So how do I feel? Pretty calm, since I don't know for sure. How will I feel when I get that big plus sign? Who knows.
And by the way, my guess on dh's Christmas gift? I was right. He of course caved and showed me pix of the two kayaks he bought, one single and one double. The woman that runs the outfitters where he purchased them told dh not to worry too much about me being pregnant and kayaking. She said she went kayaking all the way thru all of her pregnancies. She's pretty granola though. She's probably one of those supermoms who kayaked over to the bank, gave birth underwater, then tied the kid on her in a sling and paddled along on her merry way. She told us a story one time about caving with her three-month-old daughter! Geez!
12/01/2006
CD 22. By the time I got home from work yesterday, my boobs were no longer sore and I started cramping. I took this as a sign that af was on her way any minute. Yes, I was disappointed! Devastated to the point of tears is more like it. My dh said, "If you are, you are, if you aren't, you aren't. [So insightful, isn't he?] Is it really that hard on you?" I turned and shot him my best are-you-a-fucking-idiot glare and said, "Well aren't you lucky that you never have to experience this." He of course gave me a huge hug. They have no idea, do they?
Now today my sore boobs are back and I feel incredibly crappy and crampy. (The crappy is mostly due to the bottle of red wine I drank last night, but still.) Could someone just put me out of my misery for chrissake?!?!? The cramps I can live with; not knowing if I am pregnant or not is agony.
We went to Moyer's Winery and Restaurant last night. They were having a "Sing For Your Supper" night and Ken was invited to sing by his high school music teacher (who happens to be one of the owners of Moyer's). He sang "Ol' Man River" from Showboat. He was great! Now here's the dessert: By the end of everyone's performances, my dd was DEMANDING to get up there and sing Jingle Bells. She would not take no for an answer! The owner's son, sitting at the next table, overheard the commotion and said, "Of course you can, honey!" He took her up front, stood her on a chair, and handed her the microphone. She sang it! I couldn't believe it. Of course, she was off-key and her tempo was off, but the whole room chimed in with her! This child won't even say the prayer at family dinners, and here she is singing in front of at least 50 strangers in the middle of restaurant. So now she's convinced she's a superstar and wants to sing for everybody everywhere! Oh. My. God. I see embarrassing moments in my immediate future.
Now today my sore boobs are back and I feel incredibly crappy and crampy. (The crappy is mostly due to the bottle of red wine I drank last night, but still.) Could someone just put me out of my misery for chrissake?!?!? The cramps I can live with; not knowing if I am pregnant or not is agony.
We went to Moyer's Winery and Restaurant last night. They were having a "Sing For Your Supper" night and Ken was invited to sing by his high school music teacher (who happens to be one of the owners of Moyer's). He sang "Ol' Man River" from Showboat. He was great! Now here's the dessert: By the end of everyone's performances, my dd was DEMANDING to get up there and sing Jingle Bells. She would not take no for an answer! The owner's son, sitting at the next table, overheard the commotion and said, "Of course you can, honey!" He took her up front, stood her on a chair, and handed her the microphone. She sang it! I couldn't believe it. Of course, she was off-key and her tempo was off, but the whole room chimed in with her! This child won't even say the prayer at family dinners, and here she is singing in front of at least 50 strangers in the middle of restaurant. So now she's convinced she's a superstar and wants to sing for everybody everywhere! Oh. My. God. I see embarrassing moments in my immediate future.
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